POV – Who is Telling the Story?

Do you know whose mind is processing and telling the story of the events unfolding at any given place in your novel? Understanding POV or Point of View is extremely important for any fiction writer who wants to be successful.
The first thing to understand is that each character in your novel sees things differently, and has his or her own voice. Two people from totally different backgrounds describing the same scene would use different language and would see the scene from a totally different perspective.

In my novel, Redneck P.I., Twila tells the story like this:

The next day at work, the boss called me into his office. Like everyone else, I don’t like being asked to go into the boss’s office. It usually doesn’t mean good news, and reminds me of standing before the head at school, which was an event that had occurred more often than I would have liked.

   He indicated the chair. “Please sit.”

   I slumped into it and wound the gum I was chewing around my finger, before I corrected myself and sat upright as was expected of employees in this larney place.

   “I… um… I… um… I heard that you have…” He coughed, “…been a little um indiscreet with Anthony.”

   I sat bolt upright. “That little pervert has been telling everyone, hasn’t he? I’ll kill him. I’ll…”

   He held his hand up. “Judging by your reaction, I can only assume that Anthony was apparently being honest when he said that you er… You showed him your…er… Your breasts, and you have a ladybug tattoo.” He couldn’t resist looking at them, then raised his eyes guiltily to focus on my face again.

Written from the boss’s POV it would have gone something like this:

The next day I called Twila into my office. Her body language told me she felt uncomfortable even before I pointed at the chair and told her to sit. 

I didn’t expect her to know any better when she slumped into the chair and wound a piece of gum around her finger. Before I could say anything, she seemed to realize it was not the type of behavior I would expect from one of my employees, and put the gum back in her mouth and sat a little straighter.

“I… um… I… um… I heard that you have…” I coughed to hide my embarrassment, “…been a little um indiscreet with Anthony.”

 She sat bolt upright. “That little pervert has been telling everyone, hasn’t he? I’ll kill him. I’ll…”

 I held my hand up and continued. “Judging by your reaction, I can only assume that Anthony was apparently being honest when he said that you er… You showed him your…er… Your breasts, and you have a ladybug tattoo.” I couldn’t resist looking at them, and I knew she must have seen the guilt in my eyes when I focused on her face again.

Author Intrusion is the term used when the POV is that of the author. 
In this passage, Trent, the spoiled teenage girl in my upcoming novel, Way Out of Line is forced to go to a psychologist:

Trent picked at her finger nails. I hate him already. I just hope this goes quickly. I’m not coming again.

“Your parents told me what happened, but I know they probably see it differently from you, so why don’t you tell me your side of the story.” Dr. Cohen clasped his hands in front of him on the desk and sat quietly, waiting for a response.

Trent sat there for a while, not looking at him, until the silence unnerved her.

“I love him. They don’t understand. I love him and he didn’t do anything wrong.” She squirmed in the chair.

“Okay, that’s a start. Your parents don’t understand how you feel about Hal.” Trent looked up at him when he used Hal’s name.

“You don’t know him. You can’t just call him ‘Hal’ like you know him.”

Dr. Cohen’s training and expertise enabled him to draw her out and get her to talk about her feelings. He persuaded her to return the following week, and the next, and the next.

Here’s how it looks now after my editor helped me show it only from Trent’s POV:

 Trent picked at her finger nails. I hate him already. I just hope this goes quickly. I’m not coming again.

“Your parents told me what happened, but I know they probably see it differently from you, so why don’t you tell me your side of the story.” He clasped his hands in front of him on the desk and sat quietly, obviously waiting for a response.

Trent sat there for a while, not looking at him, until the silence unnerved her.

“I love him. They don’t understand. I love him and he didn’t do anything wrong.” She squirmed in the chair.

“Okay, that’s a start. Your parents don’t understand how you feel about Hal.” Trent looked up at him when he used Hal’s name.

“You don’t know him. You can’t just call him ‘Hal’ like you know him.”

She tried not to let him get the best of her, but he wore her down and made her talk about her feelings. Somehow he tricked her into agreeing to return the following week, and the next, and the next.    

The addition of the word “obviously” is necessary, because Trent can only guess why he is waiting. The second passage, if used as it is written in the first example is Author Intrusion–like someone else is telling the story. A big no-no in modern writing. 

Head-hopping is the term used to describe a piece where the POV of one character switches to that of  another in the same sentence or paragraph. Usually, head-hopping is disruptive and confusing for the reader, although some best selling authors–Nora Roberts comes to mind–have perfected the art and can get away with it.

To avoid head-hopping, point of view should ideally only be changed at the end of a chapter or a clearly defined break in the action, or a change in time or location.